Friday, July 30, 2010

Organisation of 51th century

You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary:-
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:-
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:-:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.

Bathroom Breaks:-
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:-
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are STILL employed!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Think out of the box - A funny story

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Its time for Quick Service Retailers in India

Many people who are in a hurry or too tired to do the regular day to day shopping would have wished for a comfortable drive thru shopping experience like they buy their meal from McDonald's.
But supermarket or grocery stores unlike burger joints stocks hundreds of items. And hence it would be very difficult to service customers as and when they arrive with their shopping list.
The next best thing that these retailers can do is to give option to their regular customers to call or SMS their shopping list and then later drive through the shop to pay and collect their items.
Well, additional facilities like these might not bring big revenues to the retailers but it will certainly enhance their brand value, as there is a genuine need from customers for such service. Will Indian retail giants like Reliance Retail, Future group, Bharti or Aditya Birla Retail think about it.

The trends to follow in the future for quick service:
The Indian Organized retail sector will grow up to 10% of total retailing by 2010.
No one single format can be assumed as there is a huge difference in cultures regionally.
The most encouraging format now would be the hypermarts.
The hypermart format would be further encouraged with the entry of the TNCs.

Customers are also looking for convenience in shopping. This would continue more strongly in the next couple of years. In future the more dual income families, the consumer’s ability to spend will increase, but at the same time it is predicted that the time available for shopping will go down, in such scenario, the retailers will have to take steps to develop shopping as an experience, though the more successful retailers will be those that will provide faster service.
Thereby to succeed in retailing, current and future retailers must be able to adopt a constantly changing environment, successfully retailers are able to anticipate and adapt to change.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Do business Idea really matters

"Wo khte hai na bade se bada business ek bade business idea se bada hota hai"

Here I am going to share a story of a man who again proved the above quote. The man about whom I am going to talk is a person who enter into beverage industry with 32 years of experience in food industry and multiple ventures. Mr. G. Srinivas Rao starts his venture into beverage industry. He launched his brand named Cane-O-La, a pioneer in branded sugarcane juice. Our desi beverage , the sugarcane which is normally sold at street venders has now a brand name because of Mr. Rao.
Launched in September 2006 as a healthy, hygienic and economical alternative to non-alcoholic beverages. The response to Cane-O-La has been more then satisfactory. “Cane juice sold by venders is not hygienic, we serve a 100 % chemical free drink” says Mr. Rao referring to his concept of branded sugarcane juice. Cane-O-La has built up a healthy set of corporate clients targeting all segments like Infosys, Toyota, Kirsolkar, Aviva, Spencers, Wipro and city’s railway station.

You need three things to create a successful startup:
• Start with good people
• Make something customers actually want
• Spend as little money as possible

Most startups that fail do it because they fail at one of these. A startup that does all three will probably succeed.
Every business starts with an IDEA whether the IDEA is original, borrowed, or bought, the IDEA is the heart of any business through all stages in its life. If there is no idea, there is no business. The IDEA is what will keep you fired up, and give you pride.
Look around having in mind some new idea or opportunity. Are there any similar businesses to the ones you want to create? If not, that should tell you something. Maybe your ideas are so cutting-edge that no one else has thought of them. That may be good later on, once you know how to start and run a new business, but the beginning of your journey isn't a good place to boldly go where no entrepreneur has gone before. Now is not the time to lead; it's the time to learn from others.