Organisation of 51th century

You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary:-
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:-
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:-:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.


Bathroom Breaks:-
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:-
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are STILL employed!

Organisation of 51th century

Think out of the box - A funny story

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"

Think out of the box - A funny story

Its time for Quick Service Retailers in India

Many people who are in a hurry or too tired to do the regular day to day shopping would have wished for a comfortable drive thru shopping experience like they buy their meal from McDonald's.
But supermarket or grocery stores unlike burger joints stocks hundreds of items. And hence it would be very difficult to service customers as and when they arrive with their shopping list.
The next best thing that these retailers can do is to give option to their regular customers to call or SMS their shopping list and then later drive through the shop to pay and collect their items.
Well, additional facilities like these might not bring big revenues to the retailers but it will certainly enhance their brand value, as there is a genuine need from customers for such service. Will Indian retail giants like Reliance Retail, Future group, Bharti or Aditya Birla Retail think about it.

The trends to follow in the future for quick service:
The Indian Organized retail sector will grow up to 10% of total retailing by 2010.
No one single format can be assumed as there is a huge difference in cultures regionally.
The most encouraging format now would be the hypermarts.
The hypermart format would be further encouraged with the entry of the TNCs.

Customers are also looking for convenience in shopping. This would continue more strongly in the next couple of years. In future the more dual income families, the consumer’s ability to spend will increase, but at the same time it is predicted that the time available for shopping will go down, in such scenario, the retailers will have to take steps to develop shopping as an experience, though the more successful retailers will be those that will provide faster service.
Thereby to succeed in retailing, current and future retailers must be able to adopt a constantly changing environment, successfully retailers are able to anticipate and adapt to change.

Its time for Quick Service Retailers in India

Do business Idea really matters

"Wo khte hai na bade se bada business ek bade business idea se bada hota hai"

Here I am going to share a story of a man who again proved the above quote. The man about whom I am going to talk is a person who enter into beverage industry with 32 years of experience in food industry and multiple ventures. Mr. G. Srinivas Rao starts his venture into beverage industry. He launched his brand named Cane-O-La, a pioneer in branded sugarcane juice. Our desi beverage , the sugarcane which is normally sold at street venders has now a brand name because of Mr. Rao.
Launched in September 2006 as a healthy, hygienic and economical alternative to non-alcoholic beverages. The response to Cane-O-La has been more then satisfactory. “Cane juice sold by venders is not hygienic, we serve a 100 % chemical free drink” says Mr. Rao referring to his concept of branded sugarcane juice. Cane-O-La has built up a healthy set of corporate clients targeting all segments like Infosys, Toyota, Kirsolkar, Aviva, Spencers, Wipro and city’s railway station.

You need three things to create a successful startup:
• Start with good people
• Make something customers actually want
• Spend as little money as possible

Most startups that fail do it because they fail at one of these. A startup that does all three will probably succeed.
Every business starts with an IDEA whether the IDEA is original, borrowed, or bought, the IDEA is the heart of any business through all stages in its life. If there is no idea, there is no business. The IDEA is what will keep you fired up, and give you pride.
Look around having in mind some new idea or opportunity. Are there any similar businesses to the ones you want to create? If not, that should tell you something. Maybe your ideas are so cutting-edge that no one else has thought of them. That may be good later on, once you know how to start and run a new business, but the beginning of your journey isn't a good place to boldly go where no entrepreneur has gone before. Now is not the time to lead; it's the time to learn from others.

Do business Idea really matters

"Father's Day Special"

When I was just a tiny kid,
Do you remember when,
The time you kissed my bruises,
Or cleaned by soiled chin?

You scrambled for the balls I hit,
Yet, every time we'd play a game,
You praised the "outs" I caught.

It seems like only yesterday,
You wiped away my tears,
And late at night I called your name,
To chase away my fears.

Oh, do I thirst for years gone by,
To be that growing lad,
Re-living all of the memories,
Of growing with my dad.

Father's Day festival is considered extremely important as it help acknowledge the contribution of fathers to individual families and to societies as large. Father's Day provide children an opportunity to express love and respect for their fathers. The sentiment goes a long way in strengthening father-child relationship and consequently in the emotional development of a child.
The idea of celebrating Father's Day Festival was given by Ms Sonora Dodd a loving daughter from Spokane. Her father Henry Jackson Smart single-handedly raised Sonora and five of her siblings after the death of her mother during childbirth. When Sonora attended a Mother's Day Sermon in 1909, she thought that if there is the day to honor mother then there should also be a corresponding day to honor fathers. Sonora worked relentlessly for years to ensure that the idea of Father's Day becomes a reality. In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge first recognized Father's Day. In view of the massive popularity of the festival, in 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June.
Over the years, the concept of celebrating Father's Day spread beyond geographical boundaries. Today, millions of children across the world express gratitude for their dads as they celebrate Father's Day festival.

Significance of Father in our Lives
Many people laughed at Sonora Dodd when she gave the concept of having a Father's Day, as traditionally, only mother is regarded as the sole nurturer of a child. The role of father is often relegated to a secondary status as compared to a mother. But all of us know that father is just as important for a child as the mother is. If mothers are the heroes of child rearing, significance of father in the development and emotional well being of a child is no less. Children depend on their father for their spiritual, emotional, physical, financial and social well being. For daughters, father is the ideal man in the world (I think) and also the first man they adore, while for sons, father is an idol and the strongest man they aspire to emulate.
With most husband and wife working, fathers in present times are as involved in child rearing job as the mothers are. Today, most fathers do not shy away from changing nappy or taking the difficult task for putting the baby to sleep. This cultural change is helping in strengthening father-child relationship and consequently in emotional development of a child and building of stronger family bonds.
Children must therefore take full opportunity of the day and express their gratitude for fathers with all their heart. The best way to do so is to do small things that daddy appreciates and by saying “I love you, Papa” with a gift of beautiful flower.

"Father's Day Special"

The global water situation

Water is not distributed evenly over the globe. Fewer than 10 countries possess 60% of the world's available fresh water supply: Brazil, Russia, China, Canada, Indonesia, U.S., India, and Columbia. Less than 3% of the world's water is fresh - the rest is seawater and undrinkable. Of this 3% over 2.5% is frozen, locked up in Antarctica, the Arctic and glaciers, and not available to man and 0.5% Fresh water available. Thus humanity must rely on this 0.5% for all of man's and ecosystem's fresh water needs.

Since 1950 there has been a rapid expansion of groundwater exploitation providing: 50% of all drinking water; 40% of industrial water; and 20% of irrigation water. Over 5,000 km3 in man made storage facilities reservoirs. There has been a 7 fold increase in global storage capacity since 1950. 2,120 km3 in rivers - constantly replaced from rainfall and melting snow and ice.
As farmers, industry and people take too much water there is nothing left for nature. The concept of water stress is relatively simple: it applies to situations where there is not enough water for all uses, whether agricultural, industrial or domestic. Defining thresholds for stress in terms of available water per capita is more complex, however, entailing assumptions about water use and its efficiency. Nevertheless, it has been proposed that when annual per capita renewable freshwater availability is less than 1,700 cubic meters, countries begin to experience periodic or regular water stress. Below 1,000 cubic meters, water scarcity begins to hamper economic development and human health and well-being.
The four ways people contribute to water stress as follows-
1. Excessive withdrawal from surface waters: Over the past 30 years, the Aral Sea in the former Soviet Union has shrunk to less than half of its original size. The demise of the Aral Sea was caused primarily by the diversion of the inflowing rivers to irrigate water-intensive cotton and rice crops. This graphic shows the disappearance of the Aral Sea from 1957 to 2001. By 1987, about 60% of the Aral Sea's volume had been lost, its depth had declined by 14 meters, and its salt concentration had doubled.
2. Excessive withdrawal of water from underground aquifers: Along much of the west coast of India excessive fresh water abstraction has allowed sea water to enter aquifers thereby making the water so saline that it is unfit for human use. These consequences have been compounded due to excess irrigation water containing fertilizers and pesticides leaching into these aquifers.
3. Pollution of fresh water resources: Pollution can be so severe that the fresh water is no longer useable without incurring unacceptably high clean up costs. Pollution from many small paper mills using outdated technology has depleted the oxygen from the several river stretches in China, making them unfit for consumption by any form of life. China entered into a joint venture with a Finnish company to build a state of the art paper mill. China then closed the polluting firms and these rivers are making a remarkable recovery.
4. Inefficient use of freshwater: Poor irrigation practices, leakage in water delivery systems, inefficient use by industry and excessive consumption by individuals can all contribute to water stress.

The global water situation

21 Things that'll Happen if the IPL is Nationalised

1. The new Commissioner of the IPL, replacing Lalit Modi, will be an IAS officer, 1989 batch, transferred from the Food Corporation of India .

2. Mayawati will demand, however, that the new Chairman should be her own candidate, Mr Dalit Modi .

3. The name of Mumbai Indians will immediately be changed to Mumbai Manus. It will, naturally, field only Maharashtrians (preferably Maharashtrian Brahmins). All other players will have their legs broken. Zaheer Khan will have his house burned down. So will Irfan Pathan, Yusuf Pathan and Mohd Kaif .

4. The Chennai Super Kings team will be renamed Dravida Cricket Kazhagam. Subsequently one faction will break away and the team will split into DCK (DMK) and AIADCK, owing allegience to Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha respectively .

5. Each political party will have its own team: BJP Bandits, Congress Cobras, CPI Cadres, Samajwadi Strikers, CPM Challengers, Trinamul Tigers etc .

6. Auction of players will be replaced by teams calling for tenders for players. The lowest priced players will be picked.

7. Sonia Gandhi will insist that 30% of each team should be reserved for women .

8. Mayawati will demand that SC/ST players will need to run for only 18 yards instead of 22 yards between the wickets .

9. Third Umpire requests will have to be filled in triplicate and duly notarized .

10. All Third Umpire decisions will be referred to a Joint Parlimentary Commission .

11. IPL tickets will henceforth be available at all post offices and BSNL centers from 10 a.m. to 12.45 p.m. The facility to purchase tickets on your cellphone will immediately be withdrawn .

12. Replacing an injured foreign player can be done only through a Tatkal application submitted 48 hours after a Govt doctor examines him .

13. Cheerleaders will be replaced by retired Air-India flight attendants .

14. These new cheerleaders will perform the folk dances of the states they represent during breaks .

15. IPL matches will be shown only on Doordarshan. They will be telecast the day immediately following the match, from 4 a.m. to 7.30 a.m. and subsequently from 3.30 p.m. to 7p.m, subject to satellite link-up availability .

16. Between each innings break Doordarshan will telecast the news in Hindi, followed by news for the hearing impaired .

17. Agricultural shots can be played only during the phase of the game termed " Krishi Darshan . "

18. There will be no matches on weekends or on national / regional holidays .

19. The three stumps will be painted saffron, white and green .

20. Bowlers will have to bowl sarpatti and ghasssarkundi balls (Hindi terms for underhand bowling) to the reserved players .

21. Pakistan will immediately announce its intention to start its own version of the tournament called PPL and Mr Zardari will make a visit to Washington to meet President Obama and seek an additional grant of $1 billion to fund it .

21 Things that'll Happen if the IPL is Nationalised

Small drops can make Ocean

“If you add a little to a little, and then do it again, soon that little will be more then earlier.”
Most of us, in fact all of us, want to come up in life. We want to change our bad habits (If it is there), acquire good habits, earn a lot of money, and bring about improvements in our life. However, soon we notice that we are not able to do it since the task appears to be tougher than we imagined. One reason could be that we try to change things much faster or take on more things than we are capable of. We try to exert ourselves too much. This approach will soon put us in a situation where we start seeing problems and obstacles and soon we give up. One way to overcome this problem is to change things gradually and consistently.
Let me share a story with you. Two men were caught in a thick dark forest and there were no light at all. They could not see more than three feet from their feet. One person was so scared and felt overwhelmed by the distance he had to cover to get out of the forest. But the other man was bold and looked courageous to undertake his journey asked got ready to go. The man who felt overwhelmed asked how he is going to make it since he cannot see more than three feet from his feet. For this the other man replied that it is very easy, he will first move three feet and from there another three feet and so on…! I have some real life examples that prove that little thing actually make big difference after a time of period: - A one day child can not walk & talk and if we expect him/her to walk & talk it’s not possible. Can you imagine one day baby standing and saying “walk” and then he falls down you pick him up and spank him say I told you to walk. No it is not. After a certain period of time you stand that child up and the first day he wobbles a little bit, you all get excited and say he stood up he stood up. Then you hug and kiss a lot. Next day he stands for a movement and may be wobble a step. Finally the child realizing that this is a pretty good thing to carry on and he starts wobbles his legs more & more until he walks properly. The same thing applies while we are teaching a child to speak. Suppose you wanted from child to say, “Give me a glass of water.” If you waited until the child didn’t speak whole sentence you didn’t give him water then if might be happen that the child would die of thirst. So you start by saying “water…water” all of sudden one fine day the child say “Waller..Waller” You know that word wasn’t water but still close to water. Gradually he learnt proper words and proper language. This is an example from human life.
Let’s take an example of water animal “Whale fish.” In sea aquarium huge whales is jumping over a rope which is high above the water. After seeing this we say it’s unbelievable. How do they teach that Whale to do this? Do you think they go out in an ocean in boat and put a rope over the water and yell “up..up !” Until a whale jumps out over the rope and say heyy…it is a real winner lets hire it… no it’s not like that at all. They train Whale on daily basis task and one fine day Whale starts jumping over the rope.
So as a manager you can’t hire winners always because it costs you more or may be you can’t find them. So next is that you can hire a person who has potential to be a winner. Then you systematically train that person to become winner.
Life is like this only. We need to remember that a thousand-mile journey starts with a single step! Today you take the first step and make just one little change and then one more and so on.

Small drops can make Ocean

Oxygen of my life

Friends are the essential part of everyone’s life same as friends have a very big role in my life also. That’s why I compare them (Friends) with Oxygen because oxygen is also very essential part of our life. We can’t live without it. Friends are the ones with whom we can share our darkest secrets, without being worried of them being leaked. They acknowledge our worst ideas and try to fulfill our silliest of wishes. Friends feel happy at your success and sad at your failure. They share all your feelings and make you feel that there is somebody who still cares for you. When you have friends, you never ever feel lonely. Friends love you and care for you. They always make you feel special and never expect anything in return, other than your love and friendship.
Anyone can stand by you when you are right or when you win, But a Friend will stand by you even when you are wrong or lose.
In our daily life we have two types of friends; Simple Friends & Real Friends. Here I tried to differentiate them:-

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend never seen you cry.
A real friendd has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend brings bottles of cold drinks to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend when visiting, like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and take whatever he wants.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have a fight.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you have had a fight.

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself”

Oxygen of my life

A dose u can’t stay without

Here I am not going to talk about any medicine or anything related to it but here I am going to talk about something which is more than a medicine. In this blog I am going to talk about Family (Dose). A family is replica of the society in itself. The importance of family lies in the fact, that it joints a nation together. When we find our self in such a situation, what is it that sustains and supports us..? The values which were passed to us by our family make us survival and growth possible. These values such as patience, care, understanding and commitment etc. differentiates us from the rest. Family bonds are a link to our beginning and a guide to our future. Values are taught at an early age and are carried with us throughout our life. Rituals of bedtime stories, hugs, holidays and daily meals shared together, provide a sense of warmth, structure and safety. Strong family bonds help us to thrive in all aspects of life. Lack of these bonds can lead to forever seeking that something which is missing. Don't take the value of family bonds for granted.
As I look back upon time, I can say with pure recollection of my memories, that family is one of the most precious aspects of my life. I may or may not be aware, but my family was my first school when I entered in this world. However, my arrival made my family happy and they took me home and from day one, I started learning about love, care and family relationship. My parents didn't change my wet nappies only to stop me wailing, but because I was uncomfortable with it.
I am studying in Indore. Before that I was in Ahmadabad, there I was preparing for MBA entrance exams from PT Education. During those days I lived at my Nana’s home. During those days I relies that family doesn’t mean only parents. Because the love I received there was tremendous. I can’t write this in words but I just want to share with you one thing that Even I didn’t remember my parents during those days. Nani used to say me that Aaj to ghar pe baat kar le… and then I call to my parents and we all talk them. My mosi also take care of me very much, when she goes to the market she generally ask me that Gaurav market se kuch lana hai kya tere liye..? Even I can’t forget ankit & amit (my cousins) also they help me in solving my maths & DI/LR problems. In short I want to say that I can’t forget those movements in my whole life. I think, these two examples are enough to convince you of the importance of family. If you are not, then let me know, I have an endless list of examples which I could draw on and on.

It is the place, where I learned how family relationships work, by observing my parents, grandparents, my siblings and rest of the family members deal with each other. I also noticed how my family coped and adjusted with the ups and downs of life and time. Family gives me Identity and from this identity you all know me. Whenever we move from one place to another, we carry our family history with us. The Best feeling in the world is being able to go to a place where you can call HOME. A place where we can learn something new each day from the ones who love us the most…!
How can we make our family relations long life?
Here is the answer, Each person in family needs to:-
• Show love to each other
• Make a contentious effort to let the members of your family know that he or she is special
• Praise each other
• Having family times
Remember, without love there is no healing. With Love, healing is foreseeable. Having a family can be a fulfilling and an exciting experience. Our family life is an important part of our life. How we treat each other and the respect we give each other will affect our relationship with that person and could affect how that person feels about themselves.
“Families grow and change over time, so it’s important that we have the skills to be remaining close to each other able to keep our family relationships happy and healthy.”

A dose u can’t stay without